I usually blog about the different mental disorders and mental illnesses that exist. Today I kinda wanted to switch gears a bit and discuss break-ups. Whether it’s romantic break-ups or the loss of a friendship, the experience can have an effect on one’s mental wellness. Compound loss with pre-existing mental or behavioral health, the effect has potential to be detrimental.
Below are just a few tips on getting over someone. Please keep in mind that the suggestions below are intended for those experiencing a break-up/loss of a friend, and are not intended for those experiencing grief or loss through death of a loved one. This blog post is not intended to replace therapy. It is always recommended to seek assistance from a mental help professional as needed.
Allowing Yourself to Feel/Cry
As someone who tends to repress my own emotions, I cannot stress the importance of allowing yourself to cry, feel the range of emotions, and to reflect. People tend to repress deep emotions by participating in toxic habits such as binge eating, not eating, binge drinking, drugs, becoming a work-a-holic, triggering disorders such as trichotillomania, and etc.
As painful as it is, take the time to cry and let it out.
Talking about it
Many people tend to turn to isolation when dealing with something as personal as a break-up. Maybe you’re not one to have others in your business, especially when it comes to relationship stuff.The great thing about that is, you can always reach out to vent to someone without having to disclose any personal details. This can prevent judgement from others about you & your ex (whom you may still love).
Example: “Hey Mary, can we talk? I’m going through a very painful breakup and I just need to vent. I’d rather not go into any specific details, I just need a friend right now.”
Talking out your hurt and fears is one of the best ways to get to mental wellness, which is why it’s a very successful and routine method of mental health professionals.
Prayer & Meditation
Praying and practicing meditation is another way to help relieve or reduce any turmoil during this time. Whatever your religious beliefs, asking for strength, courage, and guidance may help get you through it. You can also search for healing meditation videos as well as binarual beats on YouTube to assist.
Journaling is a great alternative to venting out loud, especially if you’re bent on not sharing your pain with anyone. You can use it in addition to speaking to a friend for faster healing. The best thing about journaling is the freedom of expressing your emotions without having to censor yourself. It’s for your eyes only.
Believe it or not, the best way to temporarily alleviate depression or low moods is by focusing on someone else’s problems, especially if you have the means to help. Volunteering or being a service to others help take the focus off of you and help realize that you’re not the center of the universe.
Express yourself through creative hobbies
My craft of blogging and writing has saved me from repressing many deep painful emotions. Having an outlet other than journaling, can help with the healing process as well as help develop a newfound hobby. Writing may not be for you. There are many forms of creative expression beside the written word, such as photography, painting, singing, creating TikTok videos, vlogging, creating choreography, etc.
Whatever you decide to do, pour out your hurt through creative expression.
Reflect on the lesson(s) you’ve learned
I believe that there are lessons to be learned in every relationship we have. Failed relationships can help make clear what it is you do and do not want in future relationships. When you don’t take time to reflect on the lessons, you run the risk of repeating toxic relationships with the same person or other people with similar unhealthy traits. Your biggest lesson may even be learning to recognize your own self-worth. Afterall, you teach people how to treat you.
A good suggestion is creating a list of every trait and characteristic you’d like in a future partner.
Looking towards the future
After allowing yourself to feel the loss of your ex, as well as all the hopes and dreams you had for the both of you, it may be best not to stay stuck in that mental place. Look to the future and all the many happy people, places, and events that have yet to take place. As much as it feel like it is, it’s not the end of your world. There is someone in your future meant just for you.
One way to get started is to create a vision board:
Hopefully these suggestions have helped at least one person out there. Remember every relationship is a lesson.
Until next time….